The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when issues develop, those why not try here who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. Lots of gay males wish to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar