The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

However when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that many of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urban areas, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay men want to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish next to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining Visit Website chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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